women

Women. You can't live with them, and you can't live without them. Ehem. Actually, I can't live with them and I can't live with them. They're my mother, my sister, and my friends.

When I think about my relationships, the ones I've had with women are the most complicated and the most rewarding, and the most risky.

Tonight, I was betrayed by a friend. Someone who I had opened up to, who I had shared everything with. Someone who knew me inside and out. The friend who said, "don't call him when you're feeling mad or sad--call me. tell me those things. he's not worth it. I'll listen and I'll field your screaming pain, and I'll understand." and I did. I told her everything. My worst fears come true. The things you only tell your diary. And I told her.

And she took those pieces of me, and she shared them with him, and she betrayed me. She holed up with him on a couch somewhere, curled up like we used to, and they whispered about me and laughed about me. And in that moment she took me and flushed me down the toilet. She is the kind of woman who actually thinks that men change. She thinks that he treated me like "this", but that he'll treat her differently. That he only acted that way because of me. But that she'll be different. She's willing to sacrifice a friendship to find out the hard way that that never happens. That he'll never change.

And then there are other women. The kind that tell me that I'm worth a thousand of her. The kind who take their crappy days, and their crappy relationships and put them aside to sit with me and listen to me cry, and moan, and complain, and weep, and scream. The kind who say "I know exactly how you feel. And its not crazy. And we love you anyway."

And that's the difference. There are women make you proud to be women, and there are those who you file away with old tax returns and receipts and buttons for clothes you will never repair.

We all know women like this. And most of us are damn lucky to know the difference. Take the ones who you know are true, and love them to death, and tell them how lucky you are to have them. I will do that. I will never make a mistake in telling the difference again.